Lion Cigarettes

 is a Tape in.

Description
"A breath of fresh air for your lungs."

- VHS Description

Lion Cigarettes is an advertisement available on Day 56 of. It comes in a black VHS tape with the Channel One logo on it.

The advertisement begins by showing two people, a male and a female, in a dark room. The male asks her if she'd fancy a date sometime, with the female rejecting him, stating that she'd never date him even if he was the last man on earth. The female walks out of the frame, with the male taking a seat in a chair behind him.

A voice-over asks the male, referred to as Johnny, how the rejection made him feel. Johnny replies by saying that he feels like a chickenhead, while pulling out a cigarette. The voice-over notices it, and asks Johnny what he's smoking. He replies by saying that it's just his regular brand of cigarette, nothing special.

The voice-over asks if Johnny would like to try Lion Cigarettes. Johnny, not knowing what Lion Cigarettes are, asks why he should even bother, claiming that the taste of Lion Cigarettes can't be that different from his regular brand.

The voice-over says that Johnny's talking crap, claiming that Lion Cigarettes have been proven by medical scientists to make you up to 51% more intelligent, 70% more attractive to women or homosexual men, and make you fitter and healthier. They continue, saying that it might've been heard that cigarettes give cancer, stating that Lion Cigarettes do the opposite, decreasing your chances of getting cancer by 100%.

Johnny then takes a smoke of a Lion Cigarette, and with a concerned look on his face, says that something is happening. He is then shown shirtless, and muscular, claiming that with one smoke of a Lion Cigarette, he feels like a new man. The female from earlier then re-enters, asking if Johnny is coming to bed. He looks at the screen, and the voice-over tells him to not mind them, and run along.

After Johnny and the female walk out of the frame, the shot zooms in on a pack of Lion Cigarettes, with clothes being tossed nearby it. While this is occurring, the voice-over saying that they'll make you sexually attractive, even if you're not.

Impact
Due to the Telethon not being part of the main game anymore, with it currently residing in the extras menu, and with footage of it being used as a training broadcast, any advert that is played during the Telethon will not have an impact on the story.